What strikes me now is again the irony...
All those girls, your great loves... They had you, all of you, your heart, your soul and most of all- your love! And it wasn't enough for them... They wanted more.. They wanted all these materialistic things.....more and more...
Me? I never wanted to have anything from you in that way... I just wanted your attention and a little of your love. If I had a small portion of you the way they did... I would have been so so happy.
I just wanted to be able to love you... But still... It was always them... I guess humans want what they can't have.. Or?
It would have changed, you might say, if I had your love I would have become like them... Would I? Really? I was the one always taking care of you... Even though I knew I never would have you or your love.. Cause no matter what you might think, I told the truth when I said I NEVER, not for a second though it could be true.. That you proudly would hold my hand in front of people you know and say" she's mine"... I knew this, but nevertheless I took care of you, I took care of you when I wasn't in love with you, I took care of you when I was in love with you... I even had your back at times I thought I could kill you with my bare hands.. Even if you never knew...
I can with absolute certainty say the same thing you use to say... You will never find anyone who love you the way I did.. I know it doesn't matter cause it won't change anything.. But I think I loved you more.. Cause I continued after you hurt me over and over, I continued after you broke my heart, I sat here and watched you finding your true loves, one after the other, and I still stayed.. Wanted to help you... Cause I saw the greatness in you, it didn't matter it wasn't meant for me.. It was enough you had it in you...
I do think I could have made you happy, if you had given me the chance.. I could have been your sanctuary..
Too bad we will never know.
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