???

When I'm now looking at you... I have just no idea what I ever saw in you... I remember being in love... How could that be? Was I so blind? So desperate to find someone to share my love with, to hold, to spoil? Doesn't sound like me? Was I just that week and needy so anyone would had been fine?

Doesn't sound like me either? But you keep saying you haven't changed.... So I must...assume... It's the truth... This is the person you been all along.... 

And I just can't wrap my head around it... I look at you... And all I see is darkness... I hear you speak... And all I hear is meanness... I watch you act.... And all I feel is destructiveness...

You are just angry, mean, and so full of hate.

I feel so unsafe with you... Can't relax for a second, no way I can be myself... I just feel the judging all the time, every second... How I'm not good enough...how wrong everything I say and do is... How wrong I AM. 

I look into those eyes... And all I see is black, and hate... Towards me.... What I see in there scares me... Like nothing else scared me before...

I know I've loved this creature... But I can't understand how... Why???

How could I've spent so many hours worrying about you... How could I've spend so much energy caring about you... Taking care of you..... And you think I've done nothing for you... You really have no clue... But I guess that even more so tells me who you really are.

How could I've cried my heart out for this man? How could I ever being ready to give anything to him...doing anything for him?

He's just an animal... Without sense of responsibility, without the ability to truly care and love another.

I've never met more selfishness... Never been more used... Never been thrown away like this... Never meant nothing to a person in this way.

Tonight... Everything died...whatever small, strange particle of love and respect there still was...

You are just not a good person... In any way..